


Someday You'll Be Loved The Way You Deserve

by brokenlibrarygirl



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Epic Bromance, M/M, Meet-Cute, Sherlock Loves John, Unrequited Love, john doesn't love sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenlibrarygirl/pseuds/brokenlibrarygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Holmes is near death again and confesses his love to John Watson. The problem is that John doesn't love him the same way. He loves Sherlock like a brother should, like a best friend. It's all okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ouch and Something Was Said

_John watches the pale limp form of his former flatmate and best friend. He watches the machines that breathe for him and monitor his disturbingly low heart rate. He watches as the the time passes on the clock and outside the window. He calls his wife and lets her know how Sherlock is doing, she understands. Mary knows that the two men would be incomplete without the other, she knows more about the two of them than she lets on._

Mary. Sweet, deadly, smart Mary. She was the glue that kept him together. She loved Sherlock but loved John more than anything. Despite the anger and resentment that came out when John was in the throes of nightmare or depressive sulk, John loved her and his daughter that looked so much like himself.

Sherlock. Brilliant and broken by the work he had done to save John, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade. He had came back to John in such an absurd way, yet was forgiven before John and Mary had been dropped at their flat. Sherlock, so thrown by his own emotions at the wedding, even though he had saved someone and proved his brilliance again. John had caught the awkward swallow of Sherlock’s throat, his darting eyes, and his thundering absence soon after his deduction of his impending fatherhood.

John knew something was different with Sherlock ever since the stag night. Even with the excessive alcohol, he knew that the touching, the innuendo was more than Sherlock wanted to share in sober existence. Sherlock had woken to a pounding headache and sickening horror at what he had done to John. The semi-cuddle on the stairs, the arm around the shoulder, the ‘I don’t mind’. He had given too much away even for the tiny minded to see, yet John said nothing. 

_Sffftt hrggh… the noise comes from Sherlock’s comatose form. “Sher… Sherlock...hey...wake up mate” John pleads hand clasped on his shoulder. Sherlock squirmed and bucked the respirator, and his grey eyes fluttered open. The monitors began to shriek and John’s hand tightened in Sherlock’s weak grasp. The room was soon filled with nurses assessing the patient’s new status. They removed the respirator and adjusted the pain medication. Sherlock had quietly rasped the answers to their questions._

When the medical staff left Sherlock turned to John and whispered, “You’re here. Why...why are you...Alice..she..”

“Stop. It’s not every day your best friend nearly dies at the hand of a wayward rent boy” John huffs with a smile.

“Hmmm...drugged college student” Sherlock rolls his eyes.

“Right. Alice and Mary are fine without me for the time being. Lots of mother-daughter time.” John sighs.

“John...I said something...I remember…” Sherlock huffs with reddened cheeks.


	2. Flattering actually

_“No No No this wasn’t happening again”, John thought. He wasn’t losing Sherlock again and certainly not at the hands of a male prostitute. “Sherlock stay still damn it” John says pressing against the jagged cut across his femoral artery._

_“Jah..” Sherlock huffs his eyes blinking, his mouth gasping in pain. “Shhh….shhh..” John murmurs his hands pressing tightly on his leg._  
“John...I...I..” Sherlock gasps with his hands gripping his friends elbows tighter than she should in his compromised state.  
 _“Shut up Sherlock save yourself” John growls pressing tighter against the pulsing loss of blood. Sherlock’s head swims, it gets dark and grey along the edges._  
 _“John...hffhghhs...I..love...you.” Sherlock huffs and then the darkness claimed him._

“That was a bit unexpected” John says.

“And unwanted,” Sherlock sighs and looks away, “go home John. I’ll be fine.”

“Sherlock…” John sighs reaching for Sherlock’s shoulder to pull him back to look at him.

“John I expect that my ill-timed confession was the last thing that you would want to hear. So to the best of times...goodbye” Sherlock blurts and turns away again.

“You utter prick. DO NOT begin to tell me how I feel.” John growls grabbing his shoulder harder and rough ignoring the wince of pain on his friend’s face. 

“Why don’t you tell me. Going to leave you wife and daughter for me?” Sherlock sneers.

John takes three steps away from the bed hunching and relaxing his shoulders. Sherlock watches expecting another angry outburst. He had not calculated for loving John Watson, despite the “not gay”, the eventual marriage and child, he just did. He wanted John, all of him, from his tanned skin, to his unique ability to make him laugh. Now it was done, he could go back to the loneliness that would open it’s arms like an old friend.

“It’s okay you know.” John says spinning around.

“What?” Sherlock huffs is surprise.

“Loving me. Flattering actually.” John grimaces rubbing the back of his head.

“John..you...you aren’t interested....how is that flattering?” Sherlock scowls at him.

“Well...I ordinary John Watson, failed surgeon, boring blogger and sidekick, somehow captured the heart of Sherlock Holmes, world’s only consulting detective and all around genius. Flattering, but I am very sorry not reciprocated.” John flops into a chair.

“So..you’re not...angry with me?” 

“Why, you should be angry with me. I can’t give you what you want, I can only be your friend.” 

“John I can’t ever be truly angry with you. I don’t deserve you or anyone else” Sherlock sighs and closes his eyes. He wanted to escape the pain, the awkwardness of his confession. John was too kind and was only reminding him of how much of a better person he was than him. “Goldfish” he mutters and falls asleep.


	3. John isn't a goldfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nobody like John

_Sherlock wakes to bleary fluorescent light, general embarrassment, and John’s steadfast form in the chair next to his bed. Sherlock could do this; live a life being in love with someone who would never return his feelings. John would be kind and understanding._

“Goldfish?” John murmurs looking at him as he ever has whenever he blurted out something at random.

“Small attention span, small brain. Mycroft refers to everyone as one. You aren’t though” Sherlock lists.

“Oh”

“John before you tell me that someday I’ll find someone, listen to me. You, John Hamish Watson, are one in a million, I don’t...like...people. So I know that I will just keep going on alone, I don’t need your weak assurances of everything will be okay.” Sherlock mutters.

“Well.. I was going to say that everyone deserves someone to love, even you. You’ll never know, you could meet someone crossing the street”

“Must I remind you of your silly little brain” Sherlock scoffs. John rolls his eyes and bites his lip, stifling the need to yell at his emotionally compromised friend.

“Hey now. You could share an umbrella, or bump into them in one of your raging deductions, no one knows what fate might bring” John snickers.

“John I know you waste countless hours watching insufferable romantic comedies with Mary, please don’t think they are real or possible” Sherlock shudders at the horror.

“Well, nothing could beat ‘Afghanistan or Iraq’” John smiles at Sherlock. Sherlock blinks and his eyes water uncontrollably. John Hamish Watson, the only person that he could possibly love, knew the exact moment his infatuation began. The pain, it was more than than the searing bitter pain of his leg, but a heaviness and ache in his chest. He would never find someone as bright and brave as John, or as kind and forgiving. He was trying not to drop into the darkness that was welcoming as the leather chair in 221b.

“John”

“Shut it. Get better, get out there. You’re are unbearable when you sulk. I’m sure Mary has a friend she could introduce to you… that isn’t a consulting criminal or assassin. She does know normal people.” John says avoiding Sherlock’s watery eyes. He’s seen that look of sad desperation before and wanted to soothe and end it. He hated hurting his friend, he couldn’t change who he was or who he loved. He loved Sherlock as the brother he never had. 

“No.. a life of austere celibacy would be more tolerable than some idiot from her parents’ club” Sherlock huffs.

“Okay, fine. Just please...don’t think this will change things between us. I won’t stop being your friend. I can’t imagine my life without you.” John says grabbing Sherlock’s wrist. He watches Sherlock take several shaky breaths. 

“And I you, we’ve both killed for the other, nothing is more bonding than that I should think” Sherlock grimaces back. 

“Yeah, right. I’ll see you later.” John squeezes his wrist and tilts his head toward the door.

“Laterz” Sherlock growls eliciting a chuckle from John as he backs towards the door.


	4. His own deductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock finds someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve seen a thousand and one head canons of who would play Victor Trevor in the series. From Idiris Elba (hnk) to Sendhi Ramamurthy (mama like), to Wan Lee Hom (ok now). I’d take any of these including my personal head canon Tom Hiddleston (flails). In an effort to open the floor to any personal vision of what Victor Trevor would look like, I purposefully do not describe what he looks like. All I know is that he is tall, sexy as hell, and is adorkable.

_Four months later_

“So what are your thoughts on getting Alice a dog?” Sherlock mumbles to John as he enters 221b.

“Good morning to you too. Ah no dogs for Alice, Mary is allergic.” John says easing himself into his chair.

“Ah… well...tea John?” commands Sherlock.

“I see your broken leg is acting up again?” 

“Well...I….actually” sputters Sherlock as he gets up from his chair and ambles towards the kitchen for his mug. John watches the advance of his friend and notices the favoring of his left leg. He also notices a pinking of his cheeks and general avoidance of eye contact.

“Sherlock, what’s going on there with your leg?” He asks setting the kettle back down into the base.

“Nothing...just rolled my ankle when I was out yesterday” he mumbles flopping down on the couch and elevating it on the arm.

“May I take a look at it? Did you see a doctor?”

“It was taken care of you...don’t…” Sherlock freezes at John’s hand on his ankle. John notices the bandage there and gives Sherlock look. He slowly peels back the bandage revealing some scabbed over teeth marks.

“Rolled you ankle huh? This looks like a dog bite. Was it caught and tested?” John says patting the bandage down.

“Had all of it’s shots. A family pet, corgi, how typical, six months old, got loose from the son and I may have stepped on it’s paw and it reacted accordingly. It’s all fine.”

“And you felt the need to lie to me about it?” John asks amusement in his voice. 

“Yoo hoo. Sherlock there is someone here to see you.” Mrs. Hudson says barging into the room leading a man holding a jar of what looks like honey in his hands. He’s dressed in a sweater vest and dark denim his head bowed in nervousness.

“Mr. Holmes, I...I didn’t know you had company.” the man mutters nervously.

Sherlock sits up quickly from the couch and begins gathering the detritus strewn over the coffee table.

“Oh ah…Victor Trevor I would like to introduce you to my investigatory partner Dr. John Watson” he says gesturing between the two men. Victor places the jar on the table and extends his hand.

“Dr. Watson, my son is a huge fan of your blog. You are a tremendous writer.” Victor smiles warmly.

“Oh ah… Thank you Mr. Trevor. Are...you in need of help with something?” John asks gesturing to the viscous substance in the jar.

“No No I...I came to ask Mr. Holmes’ forgiveness” Victor chuckles and points to Sherlock’s leg.

“Victor I asked you to call me Sherlock” Sherlock calls from the kitchen where he is quickly gathering things for tea. In that moment John’s mouth goes slack in surprise.

“Yeah, um Sherlock I brought you some honey. The bees have been very productive as of late and Sam made you a card. He’s terribly sorry about Doug” Victor says walking towards the kitchen. 

“Doug, Sam?” John blurts out smirking.

“My son, Sam he let go of his dog’s leash and in turn Doug, the dog, bit Sherlock here on the ankle.” Victor mutters waving his hands.

“Ah yes, well all is forgiven, please sit Victor. How are the bees today? It’s been terribly warm and they must be a bit lethargic.” Sherlock says handing him a mug of tea. John didn’t miss the small upturn in Sherlock’s mouth nor how his finger dragged against the other man’s hand.

“Oh well, yes we are expecting rain so that should help.” Victor says flushing a bit.

“You keep bees Victor?” John asks watching both men carefully.

“Just a couple of rooftop hives. I’ve been studying hive behavior and the decimation of the bee species. A little honey production is just an added benefit” Victor says fumbling with the jar again.

“John, Victor is a biochemical engineering professor, he’s written several papers on the environmental impact of pesticides on celular evolution.” Sherlock says plopping into his chair. John’s eyebrows raise in amusement and realization. Sherlock Holmes, is fascinated by if not attracted to someone.

“Yes, not as terribly exciting as fighting terrorism, but it is a job.” Victor says blushing a bit and not meeting either man’s eyes. John watches the two men before him in amusement. It was clear that Sherlock Holmes had met someone that had interested him. 

“So ahh how old is your son Victor?” John asks as innocently as he can without blatantly asking if the man is single.

“Six years old, a bit of a holy terror. Reads way too above his level and exhausts me on most days.” the man grinned at both men. Sherlock was sitting in his chair his feet bouncing in unreleased energy

“So his mother must be very proud.” John grins

“Oh, well, see I adopted Sam on my own. No women in my life.” Victor blushes again looking at Sherlock. Sherlock is now biting his lip and his ears have gone an alarming shade of pink.

“For god sakes John will you lower your eyebrows. You of all people should be the least homophobic” Sherlock blurts after shooting Victor a look that can only be described as apologetic.

“Ah yes.. well..sorry for being presumptive. My daughter is only 18 months so I try to connect to as many parents as I can. So Sherlock why’d you call me out here today?” John recovers slightly.

“Oh John could you look at this file, follow me to the kitchen and I’ll show it to you” Sherlock grumbles as he launches up out of his chair.. Before John rises from his chair he catches a sad look from Victor and he can barely contain the amazement growing in his heart for his friend.

“Right ya” Jon nods.

“John Watson will you stop this instant. I find Victor interesting and you’re embarrassing yourself and me with your eyebrow gymnastics.” Sherlock whispers.

“I’m...Sherlock...I’ve done nothing of the sort...you’ve done enough relationship stunting to know.” John whispers back gesturing fakely to the file. Sherlock sighs and looks upwards gathering his thoughts.

“So, uhm, what do gather about the nature of Mr. Trevor?” Sherlock quietly asks without looking at John directly. John notices the reluctance in Sherlock’s question and truly realizes the fragility of Sherlock’s crush on the man merely four metres away.

“Sherlock,when have you ever doubted your own deductions? He doesn’t appear to be a sociopath. I’d find him a respectable choice if he was my type, smart, kind, keeper of bees,” John side eyes a look at Victor who is nervously spinning the jar of honey in his hands, “plus he looks a bit ...mesmerized by you.” He watches the look of loss that falls over his friends face. The same look that he had those months ago when he had confessed his feelings for him.

“Well, right,” Sherlock mumbles with a shake of his head then louder, “Thanks for coming over John I’ll text you later for your findings.” 

John notices Victor’s head snap up and the jar of honey dropping quietly to the floor. He smirks to himself knowing that Sherlock Holmes found someone despite it all. Someone who found him fascinating, attractive, and saw him for all the wonderful things he was. John finally felt the guilt of not being what Sherlock wanted leave his shoulders and he nodded at Sherlock and turned to leave. 

“Don’t be a stranger Victor. You need to keep this one in honey. He’s got quite the sweet tooth.” John says extending his hand.

“Ohff yes well, I shall try.” Victor says shaking his hand firmly. John leaves 221b with a smile on his face and hope in his heart. His friend needed to be loved as he deserved, he hoped Victor would be the one who would.


End file.
